How to Best Let Someone Down Easy
8 Thoughtful Means to Let Someone Downward Without Sacrificing Your Needs
Because it's completely okay to simply say "no."
As much every bit we all wish nosotros never had to let someone down, at some bespeak in your life, it's inevitable. Simply that doesn't mean you take to be harsh about information technology. Even if someone has done you incorrect, hurt your feelings, or bankrupt your centre, at that place are kind, empathetic ways of going about backing out of a state of affairs. Not sure what they are? Ahead, with the help of experts, observe 10 thoughtful and piece of cake steps to let someone down or reject them painlessly.
How to let someone down easy:
i. Start past owning your truth.
The best fashion to become into a state of affairs of letting someone downwardly is to fully sympathize why it is you feel compelled to practice so. "Understand what your motivation is for having this chat and get okay with whatever it is," life coach Rachel Kove, the founder and co-CEO of Transformational Solutions, tells HelloGiggles. Understanding the why volition allow you to truly comprehend why yous're taking this stride in the offset place.
ii. Share your truth with the other person.
If yous don't want to do something—whether information technology's being in a relationship or a friendship, going to a family outing, or completing a work projection—don't lie about why you don't desire to show up. No matter if it'due south a one-off decision or something that has a long-term effect, being honest about why you don't want to partake is crucial for how you decide to end things.
3. Exist straightforward from the beginning.
So often—in both work and personal scenarios—people ask for fourth dimension to call back almost X, Y, and Z. While some scenarios do, indeed, require extra thought, more oftentimes it seems equally though putting the conversation or event off is just a means for avoidance. "Letting someone downward can exist stressful and difficult merely the terminal thing you lot want is to be ambiguous," explains licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Carolina Pataky, of the Love Discovery Institute. "Sometimes we try to let someone down past saying, 'I'm really slammed this week, but I'll let y'all know when my schedule frees up a bit.' You're giving this person false promise that you lot're interested. Don't leave anyone wondering what your intentions or wants are. Information technology'll only create stress for them and for you."
4. Always start positive.
Even if you know you lot're almost to let someone downward—and particularly if—information technology helps to be positive to lessen the blow. "Always start your decline with a [argument that expresses gratitude]," Dr. Pataky suggests. "You don't want to be rude or disrespectful and these statements tin can aid ease the blow. This shows that y'all are even so affectionate the person while being authentic to your feelings."
v. Remember that tone is everything.
We can't stress this plenty: It's not what you say but how y'all say information technology—and, aye, that goes for texting, besides. So, no affair what you're saying or texting, brand sure that your tone is compassionate if you genuinely want to make the process easier for the other person. "Be authentic to yourself and what you want," says Dr. Pataky. "You don't want to confuse or somewhen 'ghost' them. Y'all want to be polite but very clear."
half-dozen. Do non identify with their feelings.
Letting someone downward easy doesn't mean you have to make it worse for yourself. Y'all tin can be compassionate and empathetic while stating your boundaries without having to accept their disappointing feelings about your needs to center. "Do non brand yourself the 'bad guy' [just to appease them]," Kove says. Sometimes people will become hurt when you state a want or need, and while it might cause uncomfortable feelings doesn't mean you should ignore how yous feel.
7. Let become of the event.
When people become disappointed, their opinions of y'all may change. This is another thing to continue in mind but not to exist consumed past. "Practice not go attached to what this person thinks of you," Kove says. "When y'all are done with the conversation, acknowledge the challenge and be proud of yourself." Remember: Stating boundaries and letting someone down isn't easy, merely it'due south important to empathize that their disappointment doesn't indicate that you're wrong.
8. Don't say you're sorry.
This ane's catchy, but information technology'southward necessary. You can be sad that they're pain or upset based on your feelings to withdraw, but ultimately, Dr. Pataky says that beingness uninterested in someone's asking and letting them downward is cipher to be sad for. "It may feel like proverb distressing is the right and polite thing to do, but it isn't," she says. "It can add a layer of confusion to the recipient. They may wonder why you're maxim sorry and accept it personally. It can as well exist uncomfortable for the recipient every bit the common response to 'I'k deplorable' is 'It's okay.' It might not exist okay for them and that's okay, too. That'due south something they demand time to piece of work on in their own fourth dimension."
Source: https://hellogiggles.com/love-sex/relationships/how-to-let-someone-down-easy/
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